What is Affectionate Love and Affectionless Love?
The Love we know is an attachment and not a path to liberty. We love these days in order to gain something from the other. Us, giving love to someone, is actually an investment, in order to get something in return; love or otherwise.
Whether we agree or not, we aim to love, but the kind of love we show in this age, has become a medium and not the end result. Receiving Love is the priority today and not sharing or giving Love. And in order to receive Love, we humans can do anything, from Deceit to Destruction.
Our Love has become a business, and any business is fueled by desire to achieve more. Today it is evident that we do not care how much we are able to give in a relationship. Rather, we always care and complain about how little we get in love. Even if we start from giving, we end up wanting. Is it not true. Close your eyes and think about the ones you love. Do you not expect from them more than you expect yourself to give to them?
That is what we tend to say most of the time! “I gave so much and got nothing in return!” that is what we do, maybe we differ in degrees but that is what we do. May it be a mother to a son, a wife to a husband or a husband to a wife. When you hear yourself saying such a thing, understand that whatever you call love is just a business.
And have you ever seen this kind of expectation bring anything in but fights?
However, there is a second kind of loving, one where giving is important, and taking is unnecessary. The person says, “I could give love and it was accepted. And that is enough. Thank you to the other person who accepted my Love graciously. Because they also had a power to deny it. But they didn’t. For example, If you give me a Rose, I can accept it, bringing a glow in your face, or deny it or throw it away, ruining the rest of your day.
If you give me love and expect something out of it, attachment is created then and there, but if you give me love and expect nothing in return, you create an opportunity and a state of total freedom.
There is a paradox to explain this: Whoever asks, gets nothing, whoever does not ask, receives more and more.
But it actually makes sense: Whenever we ask from the other, the other finds it difficult to give. They might give out of courtesy but, they feel a part of their freedom has been taken away. Whenever expectation surrounds someone, they might give out of courtesy or duty but barely out of happiness. And love, love is such a delicate thing, that if you make it a duty, it disappears in a snap.
Courtesy or duty in love is a baggage, one that should not be around. Love is too delicate to bear the burden of any kind of a baggage. Love is the purest possibility of your heart, hence the delicateness. You can never treat it harshly.
So the more you ask, you won’t get. And when you don’t get and you keep asking and you become eventually, a beggar.
When you don’t ask, you get more, when you realize this, you stop asking, and there is an auspicious circle that gets created. When you don’t ask anything, the entire world’s love gets showered onto you.
A beggar can never be a King, only someone who can give is a King, the others are a servant of their own whims and desires.
You should not even expect thankfulness. That’s also impure love. The entire bliss of Love is to give and just to enjoy the process of giving.
Vincent Van Gogh, now a renowned artist, could not even sell one of his pictures, not even for a dime, but now his paintings are worth millions.
He had a brother, who gave him a little money now and then. One day he asked Vincent to stop the entire process of painting. “What do you get out of it?” he asked.
Van Gogh said,”Getting? When I am painting I get everything!”
“But you could sell it for money?” the brother suggested.
“The mere idea of selling my finished painting for a couple of dimes disgusts me, when I get everything while I am painting, why would I want to sell it? When my entire being is being painted along with the canvas, why would I want to sell it! That’s businessman talk, and I am an Artist!”
A businessman can think about selling and buying of love but cannot see the love while making it.
The brother wanted Van Gogh to feel good, so he tried in his way to make Van Gogh happy.
So he hired a friend to buy a picture from Van Gogh.
The friend, whose duty it was to buy the picture, went and said, “I want to purchase this picture.” Pointing at the nearest canvas. He did not even properly look at the picture.
Van Gogh said, “Apparently my brother has sent you to buy the picture… Get out.”
Everybody was shocked, and the brother asked how he knew that he had been sent to buy a picture.
Van Gogh smiled and replied. “He just wanted to buy, and did not get delighted at the picture.” While Van Gogh was delighted even just while making the picture.
When you love somebody, you don’t think whether you will get something out of it or not, you just love.
When you love, at that moment your spirit goes high to connect with the universe. When you are giving love, you feel bliss. If you don’t feel bliss, you must realize that you have not yet achieved Love but rather you might be doing some kind of a business. You have not understood the poetry of Love.
The day when Love is enough, then that is true love. Love has a deep fulfilling feeling. But Today love is all about getting love in return, about jealousy, and a thousand other diseases.